What can you learn when you walk in a bird's shoes?
I am sitting on the beach sand after a long walk…sitting in the sand, I am watching the endless Arabian sea, in the salty winds of the sea...
It is morning 8:00 am and there are very few men & women on the beach. It is so fresh and the sun's rays are warm and glittering all over the sea...
My flight is by 11:40 am and I need to start by 10:00 am. I hardly had an hour to take the last sip of the freshness of that place, which I was doing very actively.
One bird caught my attention...I don’t know the bird's name. it is very similar to a dove, but has a little blackish wings on its white body…and it has little long flat beaks…and it was busy playing with the waves…I thought a perfect company to me…except that it was little far away from me.
I started observing it...it was walking with the waves and quickly dipping its beak few times into the receding sea waves…and start munching…oops...I thought it isn't playing...it is catching and eating something in the waves or in the wet sands…it's morning breakfast!!
I remembered seeing crabs tiny & big...on the wet sea sands last night... The crabs bury themselves inside the beach sands during the day and comes out in big numbers during the nights…You can still see one or two running on the beach sands during the day…I was curious if the bird is eating the crabs... I thought the bird is brave enough...My logical mind questioned…can the bird really eat a crab...I answered...may be the small tiny ones...suddenly it struck to me the question that Sue would ask me...what is your evidence for that?
In life too, I made quick meanings and made wrong choices without being aware of what exactly happened...Now that I have been paying attention to that part of me, in the last few years, I became more cautious as I made this meaning...I really didn't have an evidence to justify my observation of "the bird eating tiny crabs"...I become curious to know what exactly is that bird eating...if I think, it is the crab, then can I find an evidence?
I started observing more carefully, looking for evidence....I looked at the sea bird and just as it was busy walking and catching something (tiny crabs?) which was not very clear to me...
I thought I can walk closer…and see it in action…so I walked closer to see and the bird sensed that and flew away to a farther point on the beach. I walked towards that farther point to again see the bird in action and again the bird flew away...I said to my self "if you do what you always did, you will get what you always got". "If you want something else, do something else". I choose to shift my strategy.
Looking at the bird, which was little far away, I started walking into the waves, just like the bird did and copied the bird’s body language to experience what it experienced …and started looking for crabs that comes out from the sea in those waves…I hardly could see any crab (or any living thing)....The water was not clear and I could not see any crab in the water...while the crabs were on the beach sand away from the waves...My curiosity grew…the bird sees and catches in the waves...while I am not able to see any thing...what it catches?
Then I again made fresh observations of the bird to model its process of catching tiny crabs (or something else) for its morning breakfast…and how very expertly it did that...when I observed I found one more new information...The sea bird walked along the wave when the wave was coming to the shore, watching for that "tiny crab" and when the wave started receding it turned to the opposite direction towards the sea and with its beak, it quickly caught those "tiny crabs?"...
I did it differently…I started my observation, only when the waves receded, standing away from the waves, not wanting to get my legs wet...while the bird was standing in the waters and started its observation even the before the waves dashed on the shore...With lot of enthusiasm, I was happy to note one more bit of that bird's strategy....now I entered the waves and started walking along with the waves towards the beach looking at the waves for any "tiny crab" and when it receded, I turned back and walked towards the sea..
It was like me and the bird were in perfect rhythm walking to & fro in the waves, along with the waves...I was pacing it quite well...but still I could not find my evidence...may be the bird's eyes are so close to the water that it sees the "tiny crab", while my eyes were so high from the water...I couldn't find the evidence...I suddenly thought may be I am finding reasons for not being able to model the bird, rather than finding new choices in modeling that bird....I do it in life too sometimes...finding reasons for why I cant do some things, why I cant get along with some people...instead of finding new choices for doing those things...or new choices in managing my difficulty in getting along with those people...
It has become 9:30 am and it was time for me to walk back to my hut...and start to the airport...I was little disappointed that I am leaving this modeling process incomplete...and a thought sparked in my mind…why not I take some feedbacks from the local people...quickly I found a local boy on the beach and asked what is the name of that bird...He replied in his native language...it is called "Kadal Kaka", which meant "Sea Crow" I said to myself “Beach Kaka” and then came my second question..."what is it eating? Is that the tiny crabs?" oops…suddenly it struck me...I didn't put a clean question...I threw my map on him...just quickly reframed...what is it eating?...it was too late…he said yeah may be crabs...( with a little unsure tone) and small fishes (he stressed)...vow!!! it is the small fishes...yes a sea would have tiny fishes...and the crab is the dirt I threw on his mind and on those waves, while searching…but it is the fishes...I was overjoyed...that I knew the answer (small fishes)...deleting my dirt (tiny crabs). I realized why I could not find the evidence…
”Open Mind!”… I murmured to myself!
I thanked him and turned back to look at the bird…with a sense of accomplishment...feedback strategy worked in solving my mystery...and I was quiet happy and suddenly I had another thought...I felt sorry for the fishes, which was being carried to shore by the waves...as they may not know that the beach kaka is standing as the devil to end their lives...oh!! I was little frustrated that this beach kaka is killing small fishes for its appetite...how stone hearted??? a little programme of hate started running in my mind...pitying those small fishes…
Instantly it occurred to me... one of the NLP principles…"The structure that you see in others mirrors your structure as well....then I questioned me back...how is it true about myself? oops!! I love crab masala and Whenever I come to this beach in kerala, I make it a point not to miss crab masala...which is my favourite…and I thought that structure is true about my self too...what a realisation and I was little guilty....
I also realized that I am becoming judgmental, comparing...not accepting things as they are…
Suddenly another principle popped in my mind..."People make the best choice available to them" - I said..."Beach Kaka is making the best choice (small fishes) available to it" and now I again started loving the beach kaka...poor bird, what else can it do for its morning breakfast…may be GOD made it that way and I told myself...I am also making the best choice (crab masala) available to me with what I know from my understanding of this world. I became happy and I loved myself, just like I loved the beach, beach kaka, the waves, the crab masala, etc...
Open Mind…I am getting to understand it better…Don’t I?
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